people go through their lives lonely, with fear and suspicion in their hearts, believe me many have valid reasons to do so, IT'S NO WAY TO LIVE. Way too many people believe the world owes them, that they have the right do as they please no matter who it hurts. Not giving a damn if they ruin a persons life or split families apart. Often when asked why they do the things they do, they just shrug their shoulders or give some excuse that makes no sense at all. We can't keep blaming parents, schools, economy or society each person is responsible for choosing between right and wrong. Most actions are a conscience decision, few are made on impulse or by the flight or fight response.
There comes a time (age) when you can no longer blame peer pressure either, that too is a conscience decision to follow or not. It doesn't seem that long ago one summer night sitting on my front door step I overheard a conversation. Two young girls, loud from the influence of alcohol were trying to pressure a slightly older male into breaking into a house. They didn't see me sitting on my step as they chased him round the side of their house. Doing the best they could flirting with him, trying out their undeveloped womanly wiles to persuade him into doing their bidding. They even tried by explaining exactly how it could be done and when (sound travels at night).
Finally having enough he told the girls they were crazy, shouting "I ain't breaking into no house with a security system and cameras" as he jumped in his car and sped off. He consciously made the decision to do whats right and not give into peer pressure, but in that instant he became a bystander by doing nothing more. The girls went back to partying, one saying to the other "see, I told you it wasn't a good idea...The wimp" and off they giggled. Yes I know these girls and it was my house they were discussing (more on that later), knowing how desperately ill their mother was and being ill myself all I could do was sit and cry. There is so much more to this one story, over 10 years of it, I will continue over time.
When we bought this house I was so excited, finally somewhere I could feel safe and call home....That dream and feeling died quickly, long before hearing that conversation our belongings were growing legs and walking out the door. They weren't the only group helping themselves to anything they could get their hands on, amazingly they ALL THINK I have no idea WHO THEY ARE!! (more later)
If you knew your offspring and their friends or your spouse/boyfriend were constantly breaking into a neighbor's house, what would you do? If you confronted them about what they were doing yet they continued, what would you do? If you were told that the neighbour was willing to work with you in order to put a stop to it, without involving the police, what would you do? Would you do nothing, would you watch as they tore the neighbours world apart. Would you start blaming her every time your dog escaped from your yard, or try find other reasons to justify why they were doing it. Knowing she wasn't well, would you stand by watching as her health noticeably went downhill?
We go through life wanting to believe we truly know those that are closest to us, that we can trust them and they'd be honest with us no matter what. The truth is we can only know someone as much as they want us to, BUT if you've learnt how to 'read' people you'll have more of an insight. I know so many parents that believe their children would never lie to them, they are so close their children would tell them anything (did you tell your parents everything and never lie to them?)
I know there'll be many questions and suggestions as I continue, try to remember this is just the beginning of this story. I lived with this for many years and believe me when I say I tried everything I possibly could to put an end to it. As I keep adding to this part of my life, certain things will become clearer.
As this story continues I ask you this....Think about it, seriously think about it, if it was your offspring, spouse/boyfriend doing this.....
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
|HIGH SCHOOL ART|
At time of buying the house in this story I was feverishly working, 7 days most weeks in order to get my ceramics studio up and running. We had looked at several houses but kept coming back to this one, it had everything we wanted and needed. Not knowing the neighbourhood or the neighbours we visited the house different times of the day, different days of the week including the weekend. It was always quiet and nothing seemed out of order, even the neighbours were often quietly enjoying the day or night on their deck.
When we moved we had the usual mayhem that goes with packing, loading, unloading the truck yourself instead of hiring a moving company.....OOOPS Jumped ahead of myself abit...When we closed on the house and did the finale walk through I noticed some things had been removed. I mentioned it to the realtor but he just brushed it off and I didn't think to pursue it (I had moving and the studio on my mind). I wanted to clean the carpets, wash the bathrooms and kitchen plus get the walls painted before we moved in. I wanted to be in the house in time to cook our first Thanksgiving dinner, unfortunately due to attitude and selfishness from others that didn't happen. The Thanksgiving dinner that was sent to Pappy and I as we worked in the house was very much appreciated.
The pair living in the accommodations down stairs made sure the painting done, their furniture etc moved in first and they went about their lives. So it took Pappy and I longer than we wanted to finally move every last box and stick of furniture in (while working) I was even asked one night by 'A' how much longer we were going to be moving stuff in because it was disturbing their sleep!. Because we still had 6 months left on the rental (I took over paying that rent) Pappy and I were asked why we had to move into the new house so quickly. My explanation of the quicker we were out of the rental, the quicker the landlord could rent it, thus relieving us of the lease was met with a shrug. It seems it was thought Pappy and I had more money than we really did. My thoughtful offer to let them take over paying the rental, considering they weren't paying rent or utilities here, was met with a laugh.
Things that weren't needed immediately were left in boxes or containers, I organised everything in the garage to make unpacking easier when the time came. Everything was clearly marked and their belongings closest to the entrance to make it easier for them knowing they'd be emptying theirs first. Because we'd missed celebrating Thanksgiving I was determined to have our first christmas and made sure ALL the decorations were at hand, right by the house door in the garage. I managed to get each room looking somewhat decent (still no paint, except the office which is still partly done), closets organised in time to start decorating for christmas. Cash being tight it was going to be a lean christmas, that didn't matter, it was to be the start of family traditions in our home.
Unfortunately there was already tension in the house, (Pappy and I on the main floor plus the younger pair downstairs 'A' and #2 son) From the start the attitude was it was Pappy's house, regardless of the fact I had contributed to the down payment, helped with the fees and bought things for the house. I was the one who made sure the house we bought could accommodate the younger pair, anything I said or wanted was met with disrespect, I had no support. So you can imagine the attitude I given when I said 'no' after being asked several times if I'd seen #2 sons personal trimmer. The only male personal trimmers I'd seen or touched belonged to Pappy, one my mommy had bought him, the other came with his shaver.
As we started pulling things out for christmas it became obvious there were boxes and containers missing, a lot of them. Over time I had noticed the amount of boxes and containers in the garage going down, being exhausted I didn't think to check the contents of the boxes that were left. I broke one of my own rules and assumed the younger two were unpacking their boxes. Not even after I'd watched 'A' sneak up the stairs, crawl on hands and knees past Pappy (who was sat with his back to the stairs) into the kitchen. I heard a closet open and watched as 'A' crawled back downstairs, something tucked under shirt,('A' thought I was asleep in the recliner) did I think to check the contents.
Waking early the next morning, the missing boxes weighing heavy on my mind I grabbed a cup of coffee and headed into the garage. I was determined to turn the place upside down to find the boxes and wouldn't you know there was the box, right where I had originally left it!! It would seem we had a magic garage that could make things disappear and reappear, unfortunately the other boxes were still missing. Checking the contents of the christmas boxes that were left, I found some of them half empty and others weren't packed carefully as I'd packed them a year ago.
The tree would've ended up with lights down to it's middle if it wasn't for Pappy running out to buy more. There were only enough candle lights for two windows, in the old house every window had candle lights, six to be exact. There were no wall or ceiling decorations, a small amount of tinsel left, some wrapped around lights enough for one window. A Lot of the tree decorations were missing, the nativity set, some of the snowmen, the mechanical santa were missing also. Trying hard not to be upset I opened the box of outside lights.....EMPTY. With tears in my eyes I put the wreath on the front door and turned on the tiny lights wrapped around it, pushed the wire reindeers into the lawn near the front steps and went to bed with a heavy heart.
As I lay in bed my mind wouldn't shut down, going over the christmas decorations I'd so carefully wrapped and packed the year before. Where were my three nutcrackers, the musical snow globe Bob had given me and the small house christmas tree ornament, the seven silver christmas bells and the silver plated bells portraying the twelve days of christmas Mommy had sent me. The ornaments from singapore and ornaments from our tree growing up. My heart sinking I realized just how much was missing.